I want you to want me
by break-neck cellest
Summary: Beka made a mistake on watch, she went to a bathehouse to warm up and fell asleep. When she woke up, she was somewhere else. B/R. had to change rating because I updated it. Caution, it gets detailed, very detailed.


It was crystallized up my spine and throughout me everywhere racking my body as I lost control of the simplest actions. I had messed up and I might still pay for it with my life. I crawled over to the empty bath house. Hoping my chills would go away, I entered the warm water with my clothes still on. I don't remember when, but I must have fallen asleep.

When I woke, I was in a bed. When I woke, I was not alone.

"Morn'in love." he said as he patted my hair down. I was lying on top of him...naked as can be. Rolling off of him, I tried to get up. "Now love, you are weak, don't be exerting yourself."

"I'm sorry, but I would rather not be lying on top of a rat naked!" I snapped. He has stolen kisses from me before but never has he lain with me naked, even if we didn't do anything.

"Will you hold on for a moment and let me explain?" he asked, "I heard about your mistake, you need to stop putting yourself in those situations Beka."

"Don't you think I know that now? Why did you take me from my bath? Why am I naked sprawled across your half naked body?" I asked.

"Damn you're stubborn. First off, yes, you should know better by now. I'm just worried. Second, I took you from your bath because you were passed out and the water turned frigid. You are naked because the best way to transfer body heat is by skin. Third, you were practically blue and I didn't want to lose you." he said staring only at my eyes.

I felt bad now for snapping at him. Rosto only wanted to help but he can't just take everything into his hands. I will not be treated like one of his doxies. I'm a decorated Dog now, I deserve better respect than to be undressed and lain with, even if I was vulnerable.

"Why didn't you get Kora or Aniki, they could have warmed me just as well while letting me keep my self-respect?" I asked

"I wanted to help you." he said meekly.

"Rosto, next time you want to help me, do it in a way that I might be fully dressed." I said turning around looking for my Dog uniform. I heard him stand up.

"I couldn't just let you freeze to death as I went around searching for others who could only help you the same amount as I." he said solemnly.

I spun around to face him. Shivers took over me again, not all because of my chills.

"Beka, I love you." he said staring into my eyes deep into my soul.

"I'm sorry." was all I could muster as I looked around and grabbed a robe that was hanging on the wall. I draped it around me and headed towards the door. As I reached the handle with my hand, Rosto grabbed my other.

"Why… why do you deny me, I have opened myself up time and time again just to have you crush my heart." he said capturing my eyes to stare straight through my soul, "I know you care for me more than you let me know Beka; what is holding you back? Is it my being a rat? If it is, I will resign my role as Rogue; I will find an honest job. I want you Beka." he said.

"I don't need you Rosto. What you did for me tonight was wrong and dishonorable. You can't take liberties with me just because you think I'm vulnerable and need help." I said turning on him again twisting the door handle.

He let go of my hand. "I don't want you to _need_ me. I want you to _want_ me Beka." he said as I walked out closing his door behind me.

Why is it that I always feel bad for denying him? Why can't I just brush it off as an unfit match as it obviously is? Why do I care what he thinks? I don't need him or want him for that matter. Or do I? Oh I must talk with Pounce; he'll be able to help me understand my feelings. However confusing they may be.

The morning was officially here, and my confusion still simmered in my bones. Breakfast was to start soon and my friends were going to scold me for my mistakes. Great, just what I need at a time like this. I was getting dressed then remembered why they were going to scold me. I almost died. That should be enough reason to stay in my rooms all day shouldn't it. Give me time to think, or just sleep. I was tired after all. After I got back to my rooms last night, I was too cold to sleep. I can't say I wasn't tempted to sneak back into Rosto's warm bed. I told myself I only thought of it because I was sleep derived.

I was taken out of my thoughts when someone knocked on my door.

"Come in." I yelled not wanting to waste energy walking to my door.

Kora walked in. "Beka, you look horrible. Horrible enough I won't force you to come to breakfast." she giggled.

"Gee thanks." I snapped.

"No problem." she said turning her attention to my room as she began picking it up. "I will bring you some hot soup later, would you like anything else?"

"No, that's fine. Thanks Kora, for understanding." I said as she guided me back to my bed and pushed me into a sitting position. She kissed me on the cheek and left. Barely a few seconds later she came back in. "I forgot, Ersken and I were going to visit his parents today, I'll have someone drop by later to check on you. Wish me luck."

"I'm fine Kora, I don't need to be checked on."

"Fine, I'll leave you be, but don't be getting all tough on me and not getting help if you need it. Beka you have friends that are willing to help you. Let them sometimes.

"Yes mother. Good luck" I said. Kora nodded her head content with my answer and left me once more.

I lay down on my bed once more and was just about to let sleep consume me when the door was knocked on again.

"Kora, I'm fine. I am laying on my bed trying to sleep." I said a bit annoyed.

"Is my knock really that feminine?" came Rosto's voice.

Without realizing it, my heart began to race. What did he want now. I can't face him right now. I don't feel strong enough to deny him in my current state.

"A knock is a knock, I didn't know it had a gender." I stated. Rosto opened my door with a look I rarely saw on his face. I wasn't sure what it was. It wasn't his normal slyness, or the often look of desire. This was different. Was it worry.

"Beka..." his voice trailed. He looked out my window, which was weird. He always held a person's eyes when he spoke to them.

"Rosto?" I asked, sitting up on my bed.

He look to me then walked over to sit beside me. "Beka, there are few things that scare me. Last night, I was scared. I didn't mean to upset you by my actions last night. I have lost many men and women in my line of work Beka. But the idea of almost losing you..." His voice trailed again.

For the first time since out friendship, I grabbed his chin and forced him to look ME in the eyes,

"Rosto, I am a Dog. Last night was not the first time I was almost killed. It happens. You of all people should know this by now." I said.

Rosto grabbed my hand and encased it in his. He closed his eyes and grabbed my other hand.

"Beka, I want you." he said as he released my hands and sat up.

"Rosto..." this time my voice trailed off. Was I just about to say that I wanted him too. My mind raced and my hearts raced faster. Is that what I wanted, did I want Rosto?

Rosto turned to face me again. "No Beka, you don't want me yet."

"Who are you to tell me what I want Rosto?" I snapped.

He laughed, LAUGHED at me. "You know you want something when you mentally know you don't need it, but you can't stop thinking about it." he said and turned again to head for the door.

I did what any five year old would have done when deprived of something. I throw the closest thing that I could reach at him. Sadly, the closest thing was my pillow.

"Seriously?" he said without turning around, "A pillow. What are you, five?"

"I am a grown mot who knows what she wants Rosto!" I yelled, this time grabbing my journal to chuck at him. He turned just in time to catch it. He tossed it to the floor. I grabbed my belt purse next. He caught that as well. I had nothing else within reach to throw, but one thing. I jumped up off the bed and threw my fist at him but, he caught it and didn't let go. I threw my other arm in fury. He caught it as well.

I stopped struggling and gave in. Sure that I was no longer going to cause him pain, he released my arms and encased my whole body within his arms. His hug surrounded me as my angry tears soon turned to stupid emotional sobs. Rosto held me like that a some while.

"What this is, Beka, is need." He said whispering into my hair. Rosto lifted me up and carried me to my bed. He covered me up then sat beside me stroking my hair as my crys subsided. When did I become so weak? Too soon he sat up and walked to the door.

"Rosto?" I rasped.

"Yes?" he asked facing the door.

"I need you Rosto." I said as his shoulders relaxed.

"That you do Beka." he said as her turned back to me.

"Rosto, I need you with me." I spoke again.

"Very well, Beka. I'm here for you." Rosto said getting into my bed, getting under my covers so he could encase me in his lean, muscled arms once more. He pulled me close and started humming a lullaby in my ear. I soon was out.

I awoke with Rosto's arms tight around me. My heart raced as I remembered why. Unlike the last time I awoke in his arms, I didn't push them away. Instead I found courage inside me. I turned my body to face him. His grip loosened to let me slide.

"Morn'in Love." He said with a smile on his face, one that did not reach his eyes. Did he think I would go back to not needing him, or wanting him. I was going to prove him wrong if so.

"Rosto, I don't need you anymore." I said face blank.

Rosto frowned then quickly replaced his smile. "Of course you don't Beka." he said as his arms unwrapped me, working to get up.

I smiled, "Where are you going?"

"Beka, don't play with me, I may be Rogue, but I still have feelings." he said somberly. Had I really hurt him this bad through out the years?

"I don't want games Rosto." I said, staring sternly at him.

"Beka, stop this. You always change your mind on this matter. The fact is and will always be that I will never be good enough for you." he siad, finally up working toward the door.

I was angered, I was trying to show affection and he was denying it. This time I grabbed my night stand to throw. He ducked just in time as it smashed against my door.

"What the sarden do you think you're doing?" he asked swinging to face me, "Are you trying to kill me?" Anger was clear in his eyes.

"Damn you Rosto!" I yelled, my anger once again swelled up, "I am trying to tell you that I love you and all you do is walk away!"

"You have an interesting way in showing in Beka!" He yelled back at me. I got out of my bed and walked up to him.

"If you wouldn't make it so sarden hard to show!" I yelled once more. "How is it that you have so many a doxies swooning at your feet, but you can't see your own friend falling right in front of you nose?" I asked. "You make it so hard for me to NOT want you, it can drive a mot nuts! There have been many a nights that I had to lock my doors in keep from walking to your rooms!" I went on. Rosto fell silent. Somehow we got a hiar's breath from each other while I was yelling at him.

"You and your fine toned bo-" I began again before getting cut off by his lips on mine. For I second I was furious and was about to push him away. That is until my mind became completely scattered as his tongue begged entrance. I allowed it as all my anger was transformed into sheer passion.

Some how his hands found their way to the small of my back as he pulled me hard against him. My hand, with a mind of their own made it into his sun-bleached locks. Our lips formed into perfect unison as his tongue started playing tricks with mine. He was starting to drive me crazy before he pulled away from our kiss.

"Now that my love, is want." he laughed.

I scowled at him and turned my head as he tried sealing our lips in another kiss. I was dismayed when he decided to continue with his action on my neck instead. I tried to pull away, before I realized how pleasing the feeling was. I let a moan escape as my hands now clawed his shoulder blades.

Rosto smiled against my neck then worked his way up to my ear. "You have yet to see what wanting something can get you Love." I shivered at his words then moaned again when he lightly nibbled my earlobe.

Somehow, his hands that were somehow forgotten found themselves the the hem of my tunic. He traced his deft figures around, lightly touching my burning skin until he finally placed them under it. Cruelly, he worked his way up slowly, causing goose skin to cover my body. He replaced his mouth on mine one last time before my shirt was lifted above my head. Not a second later, I felt my breast band become released as it fell to the ground. I didn't even feel it, his hands were so gentle.

Next thing I knew, the ground left my feet as I was carried to my bed. Rosto placed me on the edge as he stayed standing, gazing at my body taking it in with pleasure,occasionally he would scowl as he notice past scars. Rosto untied the laces on my breeches then pulled them away. He smiled evilly as he looked apon my loin clothe that was collecting moisture. "A little expectant are we?" he asked, "All of this, for me?"

I sat up grabbed his shirt and pulled him down covering his mouth with mine. He smiled into our kiss as I was completely concentrated on his mouth.

I gasped when I realized my loin clothe was gone and his hand replaced it. He pulled away from our kiss, no doubt to better take in my reaction. My eyes were closed as I tried my best to control my body's movements. It couldn't be helped. He found my sweet spot and began pumping. More moans came from me than breaths. My back arched upwards and against his hands

"Beka, tell me what you want." he whispered in my ear.

"I want you, Rosto." I panted.

"What?" he said as his jammed his fingers in me rougher than before.

"I want Rosto." I said louder.

"Who?" he asked, jamming in again, harder yet, adding a third finger.

I was almost on the edge of oblivion.

"Rosto!" I screamed as my high came. Rosto muffled my scream with his mouth as he pumped his figures to ride out my orgasm.

Once he was sure I was finished, he pulled his fingers out. He wiped my juices between my breasts and lapped it up with his tongue. Once in was clean off, he covered on breast with his mouth where he began nibbling and sucking. The other, he kneaded with is hand, pulling and pinching the hardened nipple. Moans once again reigned my throaght.

Rosto then switched breasts and began with the amazing pleasure once again.

My mind was swirlying, but not enough to forget everything. I put my hand on his chest and pushed up. He bit down hard on the occupied nipple as I pushed him away.

"Rosto, Gods, give a mot a fair chance." I more moaned than said.

"Hmm." He whispered as his hands started tracing lower and lower.

"Rosto, why do you get to see me naked, and you get to keep your shirt on?" I asked

"Oh, forgot." he stammard.

He quickly pulled off his shirt. Caught off guard, I rolled on him.

"My turn." I whispered, getting to work on his breeches. They seemed quite strained at this point. Once undone I pulled away breeches and loin clothe in one swipe. Rosto groaned.

"Naughty." I said, taking in his legth with my eyes. I placed myself just below his member and began massaging his chest.

"Gods" he moaned. I covered his mouth with mine once again as he place his hand on my bum, massaging it in return.

I worked my way to his neck where I began to suckle and bite down. I wanted to leave a mark so all other mots would know he was mine.

"Gods Beka, you're driving me crazy." he said arching me up, his hands trying to left me closer to his erection.

Catching the hint, I slid further down his lap. I took him in my hand and slowly began pulling it. He began twitching under me, silently begging for more.

I smiled as I pulled my hand away. I put my lips on his navel and began a trail of kisses down, further and further. My hands started to massage his inner thighs as he groaned again and jotled upwards nearly unseating me. I smiled into his skin before lifting my head to kiss his tip. I opened my mouth and breathed on it. It seemed to twitch. I stole a look up at him. He was laying back, hands behind his head, waiting for the pleasure I was about to bring him.

I slowly licked around his head, each circle getting lower and lower until his whole manhood was moist. One last lick I covered him whole in my mouth. I started slowly moving up and down. Rosto wasn't having it for he placed his hands on my head directing my actions. I swatted them away. By now I knew what I was doing when with a man. I lightly started scraping him with my teeth. When that wasn't enough to push him over the edge, I began to suck him while still travling his length. That was all it took for he soon grabbed my head forcing me to stop.

"Beka, I won't last much longer with you doing that." he pleaded.

"That, Rosto, is want." I laughed at him.

That is when he flipped me on my back once again. "I'll show you what want is Love, I'll have you screaming it by the end of tonight.

He placed his lips on my neck, first genlty, then stated getting rough. He was bitting and sucking. Leaving his mark. I was clawing him in the back as he traveled lower finaly reaching my opening. He plunged his tongue deep inside causing me to arch against him. He pulled out a bit to play with my pleasure organ, biting it lightly causing me sufferable pleasure. It wasn't long before the feeling built up again. Moments later he found my sweet spot and preformed amazing stunts on it. I couldn't contain myself any longer, I hit another release as I called out his name. Rosto got busy slurping up my jucies.

"I have never tasted a sweeter fruit!'" He exclaimed finaly lifting his head from my twitching womanhood.

He then covered my mouth with his allowing me to taste what he was cherishing.

We fell silent for a few seconds, just touching and looking at each other. Is this what being with a man should feel like? I cannot believe what I have been missing out on.

"Well, I don't know about you, but all this wanting has made me tired." I said, faking a yawn and turning by back on him.

"Oh no you don't!" Rosto growled turning me back over, stradling me.

"Oh, and what are you going to do about it, Majesty?" I mocked.

"Oh, just wait and see." He said then busied his mouth on mine again.

Rosto's hands were on my bum, then started working their way up my sides, then up to my hands where he grabbed them and brought them above my head. He placed both of my hands into one of his. He steadied himslef over with the other.

"Are you ready for this love?" he whispered in my ear.

"Yes, Rosto I want you." I moaned.

With that he thrust deeply into my depths. I screamed out in the automatic pleasure. He smiled and released my hands as I latched onto his shoulder blades. He thrust again, slowly. I bit his neck as I began thrusting against him. As he started going deeper. I started pulseing the muscles of my womanhood, to increase his pleasure as mine climbed.

"Gods damn it Beka!" Rosto moaned, causing me to smile. Wasn't I entitled to a few tricks up my sleeve?

Finally, my body couldn't take it much longer. Just as I was about to climax again, Rosto stopped with a laugh.

"You, will scream my name before you climax again love. That is the rule."

"Fuck You Rost-" I began to yell as he covered my mouth once again with his mouth, entering me once again. Some how he found my sweet spot right away and his thrusts became harder, and faster. With each withdraw I was lifted from the bed as he ripped himself away from me. The pleasure was amaculate, as I began digging my nails deeper into his back.

I began moaning louder and longer after each thrust. "Scream it Beka, scream it!" Rosto moaned.

"Rosto" I mustered.

"Fuck Beka, louder.

"Rosto." I spoke louder.

"Beka!" He growled.

"ROSTO!" I screamed at last, my release came.

Rosto continued riding me though it as he in turn cry out in his release. His pace slowed as my twitching subsided. He rolled off me, I rolled with him so I was laying on his hot sweaty perfectly-scultped chest.

Rosto began to chuckle, so I looked into his eyes, still-panting.

"What?" I asked playing with the blond sweat-soaked hairs on his chest.

"I doubt Kora or Aniki could ever warm you up like this." He chuckeled.

"I swatted him lightly as he covered my swollen lips once again.

This kiss was interupted with a knock on my door.

"Yes." I snapped.

"I brought you that soup I promised." Came Kora's voice as my door knob started to turn.

"Wait a moment. " I said, attmepting to cover myself and Rosto.

I was too late.

"Why is your belt purse on the floor? "She asked, "And why is your nightstand over here tipped over?" Without even taking a glance at me, she placed the soup on the counter and began picking up the objects I threw at Rosto earlier. "Was someone throwing a fit?" Kora asked, still not looking at me but picking up the night stand. "Your temper can be quite brutal, when was the last time you've bedded with a man. I always find sporting with Ersken quite soothing to my moods." She went on.

"Well, yeah, her temper can get quite hot, and what was it, five minutes ago?" Came Rosto as his chest rumbled with laughter. I was embarresed and tried hiding under the covers.

"What?" Kora said, "Oh, I see how it is. Too sick come to breakfast, but not sick enough to conoodle a random guy. Beka, you didn't tell me you were seeing someone. I uncovered my eyes. How did she not know Rosto by his voice?

"Um Kora." I stammered. Rosto continued to laugh.

"Wait, I know that laugh." She whipped around as her mouth gaped open.

"Kora, you're staring, and embarresing poor Beka." Rosto said, no doubt my blush warming his chest.

"Oh, well, I think I will be going now." Kora said, as she walked out my door.

I looked back at Rosto, finally able to join in with his the laughter.


End file.
